Who Needs Sleep?
by Chibi Babe
Summary: They fight and thier lives change. She can forgive, but can she figure out what really happened that night?
1. Who needs sleep

_**WHO NEEDS SLEEP**_

**Well heres my first ever Stephanie Plum fan fic…babe fic all the way.**

**I'm not sure when it's placed, after Hard Eight. Ranger has sent her back to Morelli and he'd made her choose again between work and him. She chose work. Probably near the end of a book where the bad guys are at their worst, and naturally Steph is in danger. Song is "who needs sleep' by the Barenaked ladies. Changed one line to suite our Ranger.**

"Damn Joe, Damn Ranger, Damn my life!" I exclaimed as I threw my pocket book on the table. I opened the fridge to find nothing.

"Urgh, after a night like tonight I don't even have comfort food!" I looked over to my room mate Rex. Walking up I tapped on his aquarium and saw his little hamster butt shuffle further in. "Sorry Rex, I'm a poor Hamster mother." Willing tears to stay away I dove into the shower. Crawling into a loose Tee and Scooby shorts I clambered into bed. "Ok, Stephanie. You can cry now," I told myself.

_**Now I lay me down not to sleep  
I just get tangled in the sheets**_

I growled in frustration. Tears streaming down my face. My sobs echoing around my empty apartment. "Damn Morelli. Ultimatum my ass…God it's hot in here" I rolled around, turned on the bedside light and claiming my thinking position.

_  
**I swim in sweat three inches deep  
I just lay back and claim defeat**_

"Damn men…" I muttered. "What were they thinking? 'Choose, work? Or me?' what was Morelli thinking??? He should know better than to give me orders…I don't do orders. I'm a Burg." Sighing I thrashed about some more until I was looking out the window. It was really raining by now. Wind whipping it up basically horizontally against my fire escape window. "And Ranger…he told me to go BACK to Morelli!" I flopped back onto my bed spread eagle style. "Look where that ended…"

"You need to repair your relationship with Morelli." Ranger had told me…

"My life doesn't lend its self into relationships."

He may as well have told me I was merely entertainment...wait he had!

_**Chapter read and lesson learned  
I turned the lights off while she burned**_

I sighed and flipped over turning off my light. It was late...really late. Rolling back over a black object caught my eye… wearily I got up. Went into the kitchen, retrieving my gun from my cookie jar and looked out the window. Rangeman.

**_So while she's three hundred degrees  
I throw the sheets off and I freeze_**

Returning the gun back to the cookie jar I headed back to bed. Falling into a fitful sleep, why did I have to have the most confusing men in Trenton in my life??

_**Lids down, I count sheep  
I count heartbeats  
The only thing that counts is  
that I won't sleep**_

My Spidey senses tingled me awake.

_**I countdown, I look around**_

I cast my eyes wearily over to my doorway. Sure enough there he stood. Possibly the most confusing man in Trenton and very likely on this planet. Ranger.

**_Who needs sleep?  
well you're never gonna get it_**

I rolled over once more onto my back and simply took him in. he looked to be freezing despite the obvious heat in this apartment. And no wonder, his hair was dripping wet, he looked so…human. So vulnerable. But still just as confusing. He is bat man.

_  
**Who needs sleep?  
tell me what's that for**_

"Babe."

I sat up as he perched on the side of my bed. Scanning my eyes. For what I was unsure but I felt exposed. He took in my tear streaked face, hell hair and took a steady hand to my face. Wiping away the tears.

_  
**Who needs sleep?  
be happy with what you're getting**_

I know I should be content with Morelli and his little Burg life but Ranger stirred something in me that I couldn't ignore.

"Babe, I'm sorry…" wait, sorry? What for? What was Ranger on about "I told you to go back, I pushed you away and you got hurt. I promised myself I'd never let anything hurt you. I failed."

_  
**This guy's been awake  
since the Second World War**_

"Ranger," I began placing my hand on his which was still caressing my face. "You weren't to know. Me and Joe…" I stopped and looked at his face, eyes dark, serious. No smile tugging at his mouth. Pure sorrow.

"Joe and I" I corrected myself, "We love each other that's for sure." Wait, was that a frown? I could have sworn I saw hurt flash across his eyes there for a moment. But Bat man doesn't have feelings. Does he? I continued on, "but we're not IN love." Wait, was that hope this time? Boy must I need sleep.

_  
**My hands are locked up tight in fists  
My mind is racing, filled with lists**_

He clutched the side of my face tighter and brought his other arm around my waist. "Ranger…you don't do relationships, remember?"

He ducked his head for a brief moment before bringing it back up again, a small smile playing across his face. "Babe, there was a lot of things I don't do."

_**of things to do and things I've done  
Another sleepless night's begun**_

I looked at him, confused. What was this man getting at? It better be a good reason coz boy do I need sleep. I've got a bunch of crazed stalkers after me, again. I need to be aware of what I'm stuffing up tomorrow. "But some have changed, I never used to have an entertainment account…" he flashed me a 200 watt smile. I had to laugh. A while ago he joked about how he could afford all of the hours and cars he spent on me, rumour has it he puts it under entertainment. Apparently he was telling the truth.

_  
**Lids down, I count sheep  
I count heartbeats**_

My heart started beating way too fast for my liking. What was he on about?

"Babe?" he was enjoying this, he was…wait was he laughing??

"Do I amuse you Manoso?" ohh I pulled out a wild card, I never call him Manoso. His smile faded a little but still kept the room alight.

"Of course you do, among other things…" I blushed all shades of red.

_  
**The only thing that counts is  
that I won't sleep**_

I heard scraping at my door. Ranger was up in a flash, gun in hand standing beside my door ready to ambush whoever had just breeched my apartment. Which going by the ever growing list could be anyone. The door squeaked open…

_  
**I countdown, I look around**_

"Joe?"  
_  
**Who needs sleep?  
well you're never gonna get it**_

I saw dots dancing in front of my eyes. What was that in his hand? Wait was that…a gun?

_  
**Who needs sleep?  
tell me what's that for**_

Joe took one long look at me. Eyes dark, not bedroom but something else I couldn't quite place. Then he lifted the gun.

_  
**Who needs sleep?  
be happy with what you're getting**_

"Ranger?" I muttered. There was a bang, and my world went black. Again. I really do this too often.

_  
**This guy's been awake  
since the Second World War**_

A voice called to me, a face started swimming into vision. Wait I knew that voice. "Ranger?"

_**Who needs sleep?  
well you're never gonna get it**_

"Babe, speak to me? Babe?" I looked up at him, worry lines creased around his eyes. Seemed to be getting a lot of those lately too. "What happened. Where's Joe?" I tried to sit back only to have Ranger forcibly push me back. Just as well,

I could feel my world tilting…_  
**  
Who needs sleep?  
tell me what's that for**_

"Babe, I'm sorry." That seemed to be tonight's word of choice. I looked past Ranger to see the ME's rolling a body bag into the ambulance. Before Ranger could stop me I was up and running. No. this couldn't be. Joe? My Morelli? My throat felt like a tennis ball had been shoved down it and I suddenly realised I was crying again, big streamy gushy crying. Arms embraced me from behind. Ranger.

_  
**Who needs sleep?  
be happy with what you're getting**_

I turned around and started beating against his chest. Before the stabbing pain in my shoulder took hold, I would have fallen to the ground if it weren't for Rangers life like grip on me. Wait my shoulder was sore? Really sore? I know this feeling…I looked down at my shoulder and saw for the first time that my shirt had been replaced by rangers windbreaker. I felt down inside the shirt and felt gauze and padding. I looked into Rangers eyes. Was it me or were they watering?_  
**  
This guy's been awake  
since the Second World War**_

"Babe?" his eyes searched mine, forgiveness? Wait why do I need to forgive him again? Then it all came back to me. The caressing, the noise, Joe…the gun.  
_  
**There's so much joy in life,  
so many pleasures all around**_

The dots came back and pots clanged I doubled over placing my head between my legs. "Babe, I…"

"No!" I cut him off… "You didn't…you couldn't. how could you Ranger??!!"

_  
**But the pleasure of insomnia  
is one I've never found**_

I looked up at him, searching. Did he feel remorse? "You killed him…didn't you?"

_  
**With all life has to offer,  
there's so much to be enjoyed**_

I couldn't believe it. I was just with Joe earlier. Enjoying Pino's and beer. Bob on the couch with us eating the pizza box, cheaper than a garbage disposal that dog is. Wait what will happen to Bob now? He's orphaned!

_  
**But the pleasures of insomnia  
are ones I can't avoid**_

"_Go…" I told Ranger. He didn't budge. "GO!" I yelled causing all the ME's and I noticed Carl and Big Dog too were now here and looking at us. "Babe?" his eyes looked into me one last time before he turned and walked away._

**Lids down, I count sheep  
I count heartbeats**

I fell to the ground, "Joe" I murmured, before being led into the waiting ambulance by Carl.

_**  
The only thing that counts is  
that I won't sleep**_

I'd been in the hospital for three days now. No Ranger. No Tank. Only Family and Lula and Connie. Even Vinnie stopped by, only to tell me to take as long as I wanted. Mum was ironing 24/7 now and Grandma had for once, yelled and aimed her 'big boy' at anyone who dare mention what happened near her or to her. Or so Valerie told me.

There was a nock at my door. Eyes bloodshot from tears, and little to no sleep in the few days. I could barely tell who it was, the colour gave it away.

_  
**I countdown, I look around**_

Ranger.__

**Hala Hala Hala**

I lay back in the bed, staring at the white ceiling. "Babe…"

"Go away." He took a step closer.

"I told you to leave Manoso." Using his name for authority rather than playfulness this time. I looked to him. His jaw tightened. Bags clearly visable under his eyes.__

**Who needs sleep?  
well you're never gonna get it**

"Babe you can't…"  
"You killed him Ranger! You killed Joe!" I hadn't realised it until I saw Ranger take a tentative step back but I was yelling, full on hysterical yelling. Tears were steadily making their way down my face onto the sheets below.

_  
**Who needs sleep?  
tell me what's that for**_

His eyes darkened and took a deep breath before speaking. Obviously in deep turmoil. "He shot you babe…I…I had to."

"Crap," I spat. Knowing all too well what had really happened. And that he was indeed right. But I couldn't face that. I couldn't. Joe couldn't have tried to kill me would he?

_  
**Who needs sleep?  
be happy with what you're getting**_

I broke down. Not that I hadn't cried before now but it hadn't really dawned upon me. Joe tried to kill his cupcake…Warm arms embraced me as I cried into his muscular pained on black Tee. "You'll always be his cupcake." Ranger muttered into my ear.

I have no idea how long we were like that but I finally leant back. "Thanks Manoso, but you should go now" He flinched at the name.

"Babe?"

"Go…Ranger. I…I don't want to see you." The look of pain was obvious to anyone across his face as he left. What had I done? What had he done?

_  
**This guy's been awake  
since the Second World War**_

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­**Well what do you all think?it didn't come out with what I origionally wanted..was just gonna be ranger admitting how he loved her and wanted to try etc but then this spewed forth…first SP so let me know if I portrayed it right. And if I should do another chap? Was gonan be a once off but kinda left it open. Song doesn't suite is as much so not all that happy but please let me know your thoughts.**

**R&R!!!!!**

**Chibi Babe**


	2. I miss You

_**I MISS YOU**_

**Hey thanx for all the reviews on my first ever plum fic! Go babes! Hope you all like, still depressing and all questions shall be answered…kinda. you'll see what I mean. Got plans to continue this on with an actual ending im quite proud. Any suggestions will be welcome and as I should have stated in the first chap, I do not own anything. So don't sue. Read and enjoy…**

I choked back a sob as I saw them lower him. Down into the ground. Carl wrapped his arms tighter, if it were possible, around my shoulders.

"Come on Steph…we have to go now."

"No…" I murmured staring where the casket once was. "I can't leave him Carl…"

"I know Steph, I know."

_**Hello there, the angel from my nightmare, **_

_**the shadow in the background of the morgue, **_

The gathering of Joe's friends and family in black slowly dispersed. Soon I was the only one remaining. I thought back to all the fun we'd had. In the beginning when he was FTA and hid out in my apartment. As a kid when he'd convinced me it was a good idea to play Choo-Choo in his fathers garage, and take my virginity behind the éclair case. Then last week, when we'd fought. Telling him I choose work over him. If only I knew then…

_**the unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley **_

_**we can live like Jack and Sally if we want **_

He'd wanted me to move in with him. Live with him. Marry him on even days, and on odd days I agreed. I would be allowed full decorating privileges, including choosing a cookie jar and draw liners. Curtains and crockery. Live out the burg dream. But it wasn't my dream.

_**where you can always find me **_

_**and we'll have Halloween on Christmas **_

I started for the Buick. Gleaming eerily pale in the setting sun. I got in, slumping against the staring wheel. Arms crossed, looking towards Joe's grave…god I'd never get used to those words.

_**and in the night we'll wish this never ends **_

_**we'll wish this never ends **_

Today was the first day I'd been allowed out of the hospital. The doctors told me my wound had been infected. And that they were treating me for shock. I think they also had someone watching me incase I did something stupid.

Sitting up I started old blue and headed home.

I changed into an over sized Tee that Morelli had left at my apartment some weeks ago and crawled into bed. I lay there on my back. Not blinking, not thinking. Ok so I was thinking. But only the same things I'd been thinking of since that night. Morelli and Ranger. I tossed some more, the doorway was screaming at me. That's where Morelli had taken his last breath. Where Ranger shot and killed the love of my life, well my first love. I surprised myself. Since Ranger left me at the Hospital I hadn't seen hide or hair of him. And since he left I hadn't cried either. I suppose that was a good thing. The doctors would have kept me in even longer for dehydration at the rate I was going.

**_I miss you, miss you _**

_**I miss you, miss you**_

I tossed onto my side and stared out my fire escape window. It was a warm summers night. An opposite to the last time I was in here. My Family had told me what had happened after I was shot. But I still couldn't face him, face Ranger.

_**Where are you and I'm so sorry **_

_**I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight **_

It had been my mother who told me. "Stephanie," she began. "You should know the truth." I looked at her. I knew the truth. Ranger killed Joe. "I know you know Ranger killed Joe but there's more to it." Yah, I thought, right. "If it wasn't for Ranger you would be dead." I looked at her. He shot me in the shoulder. It wasn't a shoot to kill situation. What was this mother of mine on about?

_**I need somebody and always **_

_**this sick strange darkness **_

"He was aiming for you Steph" her eyes watered over at the thought of loosing her daughter. "But Ranger fired a shot just before he could, he aimed for his leg, he jerked and shot a, well, what he'd call a lousy shot." My jaw dropped. Morelli had actually tried to kill me? My Morelli? But how did he end up dead? He was shot in the LEG? "I know you're confused. He was just shot in the leg after all." Damn ESP. "But Joe…didn't stop. He told you he was sorry. You didn't hear of course you were out cold. Then he turned to Ranger." My heart stopped, breathing ceased. It suddenly became eerily clear.

_**comes creeping on so haunting every time **_

_**and as I stared I counted **_

"You…you took her away from me!" Joe cursed standing back upright. His full attention to his opposition. "You took her away!"

_**the webs from all the spiders **_

_**catching things and eating their insides **_

Ranger lowered his gun a fraction. "I don't know what your talking about Morelli."

"You know damn well Manoso. She left me, for you! You two were always together, all chummy. Feeding her lies…" he started taking a step forward and Ranger raised his gun again.

_**like indecision to call you **_

_**and hear your voice of treason **_

"What you gonna do Manoso? SHOOT me? Do it? I can't live without her" his voice broke as tears streamed down his face. "I love her."

With one swift movement both men raised their guns and fired.

_**will you come home and stop this pain tonight **_

_**stop this pain tonight **_

"Ranger had to do what he did Stephanie," her mother continued. "They shot at each other. Luckily Morelli just clipped Ranger." Wait Ranger was shot? Since when? He didn't say anything the other night…then again I didn't really give him the chance… "He tried to explain." Great work Stephanie. "He tried all he could to stop him, Joe didn't leave him any choice."

_**Don't waste your time on me you're already **_

_**the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you) **_

My vision started to go again. Joe shot me, then at Ranger, Ranger shot back and killed Joe. He had no choice. Then why do I still blame him? He was in the military, he's Batman for Christ's sake. He could have found another way to disarm him surely.

_**don't waste your time on me you're already **_

_**the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you) **_

My mother got up and left the room, taking one last look back. "I'm Sorry..." what is it with people freaking apologizing all the time? My mind was swimming with all the information. Joe loved me? He thought I was leaving him for Ranger. Mr No Relationship himself. But wait, what had Ranger been telling me before Joe entered?

_**Don't waste your time on me you're already **_

_**the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you) **_

Oh god my life's a mess. Cars explode, people constantly break into my apartment and try to kill me and now the two men in my life just had a shoot out…what was Joe thinking? I flopped into my thinking position accepting the fact that all I was doing these days was thinking. I couldn't forgive him. Try as I mite. Ranger did kill Morelli.

_**don't waste your time on me you're already **_

_**the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you) **_

Jumping out of bed I'd had enough. Enough of the sinister door frame. Enough of Bob eaiting my clothing. Enough of cars exploding. Enough of my apartment being broken into. Enough of damn well everything! I threw on some sweats, a bra and replaced Joe's shirt over top. Laced up my sneakers, grabbed my keys and headed for the door.

_**Don't waste your time on me you're already **_

_**the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you) **_

I know I'm not a runner. I'd rather have teeth pulled than run but I had to move. I had to run…run away from it all.

_**don't waste your time on me you're already **_

_**the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you) **_

I ran till I found myself at the same park Ranger and I ran in his brief stunt at trying to get me fit. The same park Morelli had found me trying to get fit but instead got attacked by crazed geese. I slumped onto a bench and curled my legs up to me. Holding them close.

**_I miss you, miss you _**

**_I miss you, miss you _**

And I cried. Big sobbing tears, drool, and snot crying. I swiped at my face with my sleeve and stared blankly at the lake which the park centered on. How could my life had gone so wrong? I let it all loose. All the cars, all the death threats and Joe. Mid-sob someone grabbed at my shoulder. I spun around ready to have a blast at the bastard who dared to disturb me in my wollowing. But a strong hand caught mine.

**_I miss you, miss you _**

_**I miss you, miss you**_

"Joe."

**So what do you all think? Don't hurt me!MWAHAHA**

**Right now I wont update till I get at least 10 reviews..i know I know OR a very desperate reviewer…now enjoy!**

**R&R!**

Toodleooo

To be continued….


	3. Don't wanna think about you

_**DEDICATED TO JEMIMA WIERSMA, FOR ALL YOUR HARD STUDY GIRL! YOU ROCK!! GO DUCK….**_

_And I cried. Big sobbing tears, drool, and snot crying. I swiped at my face with my sleeve and stared blankly at the lake which the park centered on. How could my life had gone so wrong? I let it all loose. All the cars, all the death threats and Joe. Mid-sob someone grabbed at my shoulder. I spun around ready to have a blast at the bastard who dared to disturb me in my wollowing. But a strong hand caught mine._

_**I miss you, miss you **_

_**I miss you, miss you**_

"_Joe."_

_**CHAPTER THREE : DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT YOU**_

"Joe," I screamed beating at his chest.

"You killed him!"

Ranger's face remained blank as his hands grasped mine. I Shook my head with frustration, my head becoming a blurry curly mass. I had tears running down my face, and very likely snot as well. But for once I didn't care. To hell with Ranger.

"Babe.."  
"Don't Babe me!"

"Steph…"  
"I don't wanna hear it Manoso!"

_**Can you leave me here alone now**_

_**I don't wanna hear you say **_

Ranger grabbed the side of my face forcing me to look him in the eye. The wind was picking up and I noticed that his hair was out and bellowing about his face in the breeze. The streetlight casing him a warm yet eerie shadow. He'd never looked so handsome yet…"Steph listen to me!" I blinked tears away, blank face in place.

_**That you know me **_

_**That I should be **_

_**Always doing what you say **_

I tried to move my head but he was so damn strong. Damn mercenary.

"I tried telling you Steph, I gave you time but it's time to face it. I tried to stop him...I tried!" I snorted, tried so damn hard you killed him…wow did Batman actually speaks more than one syllable. Wait, he's Manoso now. Not Batman. Never Batman.

"Babe," his tone softened and his eyes turned into deep dark pools. "You have got to believe me…you may not know much about me." Ha, I scoffed, understatement of the century ala Ranger. Ahh I mean Manoso.

"I know it's and understatement." If it had been anyone else other than Manoso, and had the situation had been slightly different, he would have smiled.

'_**Cause I'm trying get through today **_

_**And there's one thing I know **_

"But I care about you Steph. Really I do." His eyes proved it. I know he was telling the truth but…how can I forgive him. He KILLED Joe...

"Stop it!" his hands became more rough, as he grasped my face tighter. Tears leaked down my face and onto him as I tried to loosen his grip with my hands.

"Mano…"

"Ranger," he cut in, his hands gripping even tighter. He grip was really tight now and he was actually starting to scare me. Not imposing dark Cuban sex god scare, like Connie, lula and any woman alive gets. But scared like when one of my psychopathic crazed stalkers gets hold of me.

"Please…" I asked trying even harder to loosen his hands of steel, wait. That's Superman…

His eyes drew back as he took a sharp step back letting me go. Realising what he'd done.

_**I don't wanna think about you **_

_**Or think about me **_

I staggered back leaning up against the park bench. Rubbing the rather sore side of my face that he'd gripped.

_**Don't wanna figure this out **_

I looked to him bewildered. Never once had Ranger lost his cool. Never. He inched towards me.

"Babe…I'm so sorry…"

"That's all you say lately." I stated, stepping as far away from him as possible considering the inanimate object in my way.

He looked pained. That much was obvious. I looked at him and for once I saw him as just Manoso. Not the sexy Cuban bounty hunter Ranger. Not the ever illusive Batman. Just Manoso. Human. Man.

_**I don't wanna think about you **_

_**Or think about nothing **_

I shook my head of the thoughts. NO I could not forgive him. No matter what he ever did, he would still be the guy who killed Morelli.

"What can I ever say or do to make it up to you??" wow Manoso grovelling.

"How many times do I have to tell you…" I looked at him, eye to eye. "I don't want to hear it. I can't. Not now…and I'm pretty sure never."

He reached out for me but I spun around the side of the bench placing it between us. I rung my had though my tangle of curls and looked down at my feet. "I think you should just go.."

"Babe…"

_**Don't wanna talk this one out **_

I couldn't look at him. I could tell though, by the way my hair on the back of my neck was at attention that he had manoeuvred around the bench to get to me.

"Just go…don't make this harder on you than it is…" and I laughed. I actually laughed. Does my brain ever take time to think before I do absolutely anything? I looked up at Manoso.

_**I won't let you bring me down **_

'_**Cause I know **_

His shoulders were slumped in a defeated position. His eyes still deep pools, very watery pools at that. What the hell, Batman tearing up again?? This has to be an impostor, a robot, a hologram or something. Ranger doesn't cry. Hell he doesn't even do emotions. At this I should have stopped laughing, but did I? No, I, the Bombshell Bounty Hunter continued to make an ass of myself. Wait, I don't care about that anymore do I…guess old habits die hard.

_**I don't wanna think about you **_

_**Don't wanna think about you **_

"Babe…" he took a quizzical step back. Either hurt by my laughter, or thought I'd finally lost the plot. Probably both. "Why do you even CARE Manoso??" I asked walking up to him. "You see me as nothing but a piece of meat?!" he looked as though he was about to intervene but I held both my hands up, stopping him. "Listen, You had me and threw me back to Morelli like...like...TRASH!" I finished. No longer laughing. Looking at him, daring him to speak up against me. I took more steps forward getting all the more riled up as I went. "You were a JERK Manoso a class A JERK!"

_**When I wake up here tomorrow **_

_**Things will never be the same **_

By now I was face to chest with Manoso. Pointing a stubborn finger at his chest with every point I made. "You," prod, "proved," prod, "how much," prod, "you cared," prod, "about me," prod, "the moment," prod, "you shot, and killed, Joe…" tears were streaming down my face and I knew it. Manoso on the other hand...

_**'Cause I won't wait **_

_**'Cause you won't change **_

"You'll never change Manoso. Never. And I for one won't wait around for nothing." I turned and started walking back towards my apartment. It would be dawn soon and like hell I was going to still be here. I wanted to go home, find me some tastykakes, note plural! And curl up in bed with Rex right beside me. His hampster hiney sticking out of his soup can.

_**And you'll always be this way **_

_**Now I'm gonna get through today **_

Mocha coloured hands grasped at my shoulder spinning me around till I was face to face with a very emotional Cuban Bounty Hunter. "Stephanie, you can not, for one fleeting moment believe that?" his eyes searched mine. Amber met sapphire.

_**And there's one thing I know **_

I blinked back the last of my tears and did one solemn nod of my head, "You've said it yourself. 'My life doesn't lend its self into relationships.' Don't you remember?" I stared him down. Willing him to argue. Anything to provoke any emotion other than the one I was feeling at this very moment and what felt like I'd feel for the remainder of my life. "Leave me Manoso, it's what you do best."

_**I don't wanna think about you **_

_**Or think about me **_

I turned and walked steadily out of the park. Trying not to look back. Heaven knows why I wanted to, maybe morbid curiosity. But I did. When turning out of the park I walked side on to him. He was still there. Under the lamp post, watching. Possibly even waiting. But I couldn't do this. In that fraction of a second, when Ranger shot Morelli. It severed all my ties with Ranger, and made me loose Morelli forever.

_**Don't wanna figure this out **_

I jogged slowly back to my apartment and let myself in. Throwing my keys down on the table. I didn't even bother to check my house for night time guests. Heck they could get come and get me for all I cared.

"All you can eat buffet tonight guys," I muttered as I stripped back down to underwear and the oversized Tee. I crawled into bed. Knowing full well I would not sleep a wink. I snuggled up into a ball hugging my pillow. I was just loosing myself in a thoughtless bliss when my phone rang.

_**I don't wanna think about you **_

_**Or think about nothing **_

I rolled over onto my back and hoped, prayed and offered to go to church that the person would admit defeat and not leave a message. I was so sick of it all.

_**Don't wanna talk this one out **_

All the 'I'm sorry about your loss' crap and 'I'm here if you need me' bull shit. I threw my fisted hands against the bed with a frustrated groan and closed my eyes willing the ringing to stop. It did.

_**This time I won't let you bring me down **_

_**Won't let you shut me out **_

And went straight onto my answering machine…god damn infernal technological era!!!

_**This time I know **_

_**I don't wanna think about you **_

I clenched my eyes shut. Wondering who the hell would ring me at this hour anyway. Even if it was forced sympathy.

"Steph? Stephanie?" the voice echoed around my empty apartment. I recognised that voice. But why would Carl be ringing at this hour?

_**Run away, run away **_

_**Running as fast as I can **_

"I know you're there Stephanie, come on answer the phone."

I twisted my hands in my bed spread as I sat up. To answer or not to….at this hour it probably wasn't good news. Although could also be good. Could have caught my psychotic stalker. Save me the job…but it could be bad news. Bad news I did NOT want or need right now. I flopped back onto the bed sighing. I just need to get away.

_**Run away, run away **_

_**I'll never come back again **_

"Please don't reduce me to begging Steph." His voice continued on coaxing me to answer the phone before a loud tone ended his call. "HA!" I yelled at the phone. "Take that Carl! No more room!" I smiled and curled back into my ball.

_**Run away, run away **_

My eyes shot open. Ring ring, ring ring. I threw a pillow over my head for all the good it did.

"Stephanie Plum. Answer your phone!" god he was even sounding like my mother! "and don't you dare tell me I sound like your mother!" Damn ESP. I cant think about this now…

_**I don't wanna think about you **_

_**Or think about me **_

Yet again Carl faced the dial tone. I couldn't help but smirk. Surely he wouldn't try again…ring ring, ring ring. God damn freakin Carl! I stomped over to the phone and yanked it off it's base. "What" I demanded in my best, PMS don't mess with me Burg voice.

"Oh hi Steph,"

"Don't Hi Steph me Carl, What do you want? It's three freakin am in the morning!"

_**Don't wanna figure this out **_

_**I don't wanna think about you **_

I heard Carl sigh on the other end of the line as I shifted my weight on my feet folding my arm over my chest.

"I really wanted to tell this to you in person…but I'm completely tied up at the station…they've reopened his case Steph."

_**Or think about nothing **_

_**Don't wanna talk this one out **_

"No…" I placed the receiver back onto the base and stared at my wall. The phone rang and I realised I'd been holding my breath. I let it out in a rush. "Steph," Carl tried soothing me, but to little avail. "I'm so sorry…"

"Why Carl." A statement, not a question.

_**This time I won't let you bring me down **_

_**Won't let you shut me out **_

_**This time I know **_

_**I don't wanna think about you **_

"Steph I don't think…"

"Tell me!" I demanded glaring down the receiver. "It's Ranger isn't it? It was a set up…I knew it wasn't self defence, it was all an excuse! A ploy. But he didn't want me so a ploy for what…"

"Steph!" Carl broke me off and I realised I'd been rambling. I blushed and waited for his reply.

_**Run away, run away **_

_**Don't wanna think about you **_

_**Run away, run away **_

"It's not Ranger…" my heart rate sped up and breathing stopped. "Although he will be brought in for clarification…the stories don't add up." He went quite for a while and was about to ask if he was ok when he started again, "They were packing up Joe's belongings today…" I started breathing again, but way too fast. No no no no… "And Mrs Morelli, she well, she found…" dots danced in front of my eyes and I stumbled into the wall sliding down it. "They found a note Steph. I'm sorry." I stared into space for a second before Carl interrupted me. "He…He…" you could hear him struggle to say the words, I felt for Carl, Joe was his friend. " He was planning a Murder Suicide Steph. He was going after you, for leaving him. Then he was going to…I'm so sorry."

Then, and only then did my world go black.

_**Run away, run away **_

Well?? What do you all reckon? Sorry it took so long, been busy with family down. I wasn't sure where this was heading but is where it ended up. Lol as always. Hope it's ok. Im not sure im staying in the right frame..hard to do janet's style aswell as make up my own drama…if you know what I mean. Well hope you all like, and please

R&R!!!


	4. Welcome to my life

_**HEY THERE! ME AGAIN, FINIALY I UPDATE, BEEN REAL BUSY LATLEY SORRY GUYS. BUT HERE WE HAVE IT. SONG IS OK, DOESN'T QUITE FIT LIKE THE OTHERS. MAY TRY THEM WITHOUT SONGS AFTER THIS ONE. GOT ALOTA PLANS FOR THIS STORY THOU SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOME.**_

_**AS FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE FRUSTRATED AND APPALED AT WHAT JOE HAS BEEN ACCUSED OF DOING, YOU SHOULD ALL KNOW THAT THE STORY IS NOT YET OVER. THE TRUTH WILL EMERGE…IF IT HASN'T ALREADY. ALL I ASK IS FOR YOU NOT TO JUDGE SOME OF THE CHARACTERS ACTIONS UNTILL THE STORY IS COMPLETE. BUT THANX FOR ALL THE GREAT REVIEWS! AND PLEASE ENJOY THIS LATEST INSTALMENT IN…. 'Who Needs Sleep'**_

"_**It's not Ranger…" my heart rate sped up and breathing stopped. "Although he will be brought in for clarification…the stories don't add up." He went quite for a while and was about to ask if he was ok when he started again, "They were packing up Joe's belongings today…" I started breathing again, but way too fast. No no no no… "And Mrs Morelli, she well, she found…" dots danced in front of my eyes and I stumbled into the wall sliding down it. "They found a note Steph. I'm sorry." I stared into space for a second before Carl interrupted me. "He…He…" you could hear him struggle to say the words, I felt for Carl, Joe was his friend. " He was planning a Murder Suicide Steph. He was going after you, for leaving him. Then he was going to…I'm so sorry."**_

_**Then, and only then did my world go black.**_

­

**CHAPTER 4 : WELCOME TO MY LIFE**

"Steph…" I could hear a voice, it sounded close. And something was bashing at my shoulder. No wait. It was shaking me. Now where was I again…oh crap. It all came back to me. The shooting, the park, the phone call.

_**Do you ever feel like breaking down? **_

Please tell me it was a dream…I wearily opened one eye to see a very close eye ball right next to mine. Blinking.

Screaming I jolted away from the giant object shutting my eyes tight. Bashing my head against something solid in the process. Realizing I was up against a wall I remembered more. The phone call. It never actually ended.

_**Do you ever feel out of place? **_

I took a deep breath and tried opening both eyes this time. Sure enough I found a whole face looking at me this time. And from a distance.

"Carl…?"

"Woah Steph. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He helped me up and walked me to my couch.

Taking in my surroundings I realized either I'd slept for either an entire day or it was still the same excruciatingly long night.

_**Like somehow you just don't belong **_

_**And no one understands you **_

"Yah it's still Monday Steph," he reassured me as he placed me on the couch sitting along side me.

"I'm so sorry I didn't think. I should have waited and talked to you in person…" he rubbed the back of his neck unsure of himself as he looked me in the eye. "I should have realized you'd react like this."

"But Carl I can't understand. Morelli…" I blinked back tears as I tried to stay on my maintain my focus. If I started crying now there's be no stopping the flood gates from unleashing upon poor Carl.

"He wouldn't...he couldn't …he…not him Carl."

"I know Steph, and I for one agree with you."

My eyes snapped from my clasped hands on my lap back to Carl. I mean I should have expected people to agree with me but still it did take me from surprise. God this was all too much. What would I give to get away from this action/adventure I call my life.

_**Do you ever wanna run away? **_

"Really?" I pushed. Maybe he was just going along with me for the sake of it. I mean he had just basically caused me to faint and being my friend I think the last thing he'd want to do was piss me off or anger me on top of that.

"Yes really."

I stared him down willing him to continue on. Resting his back up against the back of the couch he let out a long sigh making it obvious how tired the guy was. He mustn't have even been home yet.

"I admit Steph that something doesn't add up with what happened in your apartment. I mean why didn't Ranger disarm Joe?" he turned his head towards me arms behind his head. "Ranger is too skilled to have not been able to. Yet at the same time he wouldn't have been that lazy."

"But.."

"I know you've already tried and found Ranger guilty Steph. but something is not right no matter what you say. And as for the note…"

I leaned in closer. This was like listening to a car wreck…if that makes any sense. You know you should stop watching, well in this case listening but you cant help it. You're not going to like what he has to say Stephanie. I berated myself. But hey I was never one to take orders. Even my own.

_**Do you lock yourself in your room? **_

"It was defiantly his handwriting. I've seen it often enough. But was he made to write it? Or was it truly out of his own will. And in that case…"

Swivling to face me he bored his eyes into mine.

"What made him do it. What made him think he had no other option but to do that. It was no conscious decision by himself that's for certain."

_**With the radio on turned up so loud **_

_**That no one hears you screaming **_

I started gasping for air. Was Carl right? God if only I knew. I had to figure this all out. Heck I'd basically just found out about it. Seeing as I was out cold for most of the time. I bent forward my arms resting on my knees holding up my head. I ran my hands though my tangle of curls. "This can't be happening. It isn't."

_**No you don't know what it's like **_

_**When nothing feels alright **_

A hand found its way on to my shoulder. And rubbed my back.

"If I could change one thing it would be this. I'm sorry. Normally I would have sent Eddie but he was home with the family."

"It's fine Carl. I just can't understand any of this. My minds still reeling with that night …now this. When will the truth finally rear its ugly head?"

"Soon Steph, soon."

Carl reached for me hugging me to him. Don't get me wrong I'm not a huggy person but I needed his strength right now. I'd run out myself and I had even delved into my reserves. I was as flat as could be. I leaned into him some more bathing in the fact that someone else was actually here. But still. No one could know what it was like to be me. I had just decided that I love both men and have one kill the other...well possibly love in one case now.

_**You don't know what it's like to be like me **_

I woke to find myself tucked up back in my bed. I shot up and looked around. I'd never feel safe in this apartment again.

_**To be hurt **_

Surveying the room I found a note on my bedside table.

_Steph_

_Again I'm so sorry for last night._

_I would have loved to be there for you but I had to get to work again. Duty calls and all that. _

_I'll catch up with you today to discuss last night._

_Look after your self_

_Carl_

_**To feel lost **_

Oh god what was I going to do…

Looking at my clock I was disgusted to find it was noon. God half the days gone already! I was going to get some serious work done concerning Joe today. Urgh!

_**To be left out in the dark **_

I padded my way into the kitchen and turned on the coffee, plopping some Cherrios in Rex's cage. "Morning Rex, we can do this. We can be strong can't we?" I asked as he shuffled his little hamster butt in reverse out of his soup can. Stuffing his little gob he scurried back to his can. A hamster of many words, the strong silent type. Shit, My hamster's Ranger! He even enjoys exercises…but wait. He eats like me…too close.

_**To be kicked **_

_**When you're down **_

Deciding a shower would do me a world of good I took myself off to the bathroom. Coffee would wait a little longer.

I nearly screamed at what greeted me in the mirror. Electro shock therapy hair, baggy puffy red eyes. Eek! I hope I didn't look this bad last night. I plunged into the steaming water and made sure I soaked until I was as pruney grandma Mazur.

_**To feel like you've been pushed around **_

_**To be on the edge of breaking down **_

Floating out of the shower I went back to my bedroom and threw on a pair of dark denim jeans and a black tank top. Nice and casual Stephanie today. Back in the bathroom I slopped some gook into my hair to try and tame it, a lot of mascara and I was all set.

_**And no one's there to save you **_

_**No you don't know what it's like **_

Downing a cup of coffee I found myself staring at my door as if awaiting it to talk to me. 'Do this Stephanie' is would say. 'This is how to solve all your problems'. Oh yeah and it would also confirm my knowledge that donuts contain no calories what so ever. Had I even woken up this morning?

_**Welcome to my life **_

I could always go down to the office. Since Joe's death everyone had told me not to worry about work, that it could wait. So I was pretty sure I had a stack of FTA's the size of Lula there. I could also visit Carl at the station…although that's be kind of hard going. Being there and knowing I wasn't going to run into Joe. Then again I could always go to my parents…the office it is.

_**Do you wanna be somebody else? **_

_**Are you sick of feeling so left out? **_

Grabbing my pocket book and keys I headed to the car park. Luckily with my lack of mobility the last few days I'd managed to score and keep a close park to the building. Much to the disgust of the senior residents in my apartment building.

I wadded over to big blue. Yes big blue was back in action. Seems whoever is out to get me (the verdict is still not in.) Although Connie and Lula may have an idea by now. Heck knows I'm not going to Ranger for help. Wait where was !? Right my car. Mr Nutso decided to blow it up outside my parents place. Much to the love of grandma Mazur. She'd been the most popular person down at the Salon since.

_**Are you desperate to find something more **_

_**Before your life is over **_

I ambled my way to the office stopping at the tasty pastry on the way. Who says diamonds are a girls best friend? I'd have to go with sugar on that one.

I pulled up opposite the office and mad my way in.

_**Are you stuck inside a world you hate? **_

_**Are you sick of everyone around? **_

"Girl it's about time! How ya been?" Lula greeted getting up off the tacky leather couch that dorned the office's 'waiting area'.

"Sorry, but I was hoping I could make up for it?" I said handing over the bag of Donuts to Connie. To hand them to Lula would ensure that Connie and I would go hungry.

"It's ok Steph. We understand. Like we said" Connie said taking a bite out of a Boston crème. "Take as much time as you need."

_**With the big fake smiles and stupid lies **_

_**While deep inside you're bleeding **_

Today Lula had decided to go with a lime green spandex skirt that rided up just below her big black behind. And a highlighter yellow top that caused her chest to ooze out, which fitted really with her bleach blonde hair.

Connie on the other hand wore a tight red knit sweater that veed down to make the most of her 'Betty Boop' body and was in the process of painting her nails to match.

_**No you don't know what it's like **_

_**When nothing feels alright **_

This all seemed so normal it felt wrong.

_**You don't know what it's like to be like me **_

My neck hairs stood to attention. My nipples almost did as well but I had tried to start training them to behave since Morelli's death.

"Babe, a word outside? Please?"

Manners? Batman? If it wasn't for my spidey senses, lula and connie fanning themselves would have given away that it was Manoso. I could have stayed in the office and been stubborn. But we all know I had to leave eventually and he would have waited. That man has almost too much patience.

_**To be hurt **_

_**To feel lost **_

I walked out of the office and followed Ranger to the allay way near by where not too long ago he used to poach me from Joe…now he didn't have to.

_**To be left out in the dark **_

"What is it Manoso?"

He stood opposite me. Taunt and alert. Like a cat ready to pounce.

"Just hear me out. That's all I ask."

I kept silent looking out at the road. My way of saying continue.

"I heard about the note Babe." Funny how that word used to cause such sensations and now it just made me feel sick.

"Listen. I know there's a lot I need to explain but I can't do it here. Too many ears."

Turning to him I raised my eyebrow. Did this clown really expect me to go anywhere with him? Dream on Ranger boy.

_**To be kicked **_

_**When you're down **_

"Listen, I'm sorry about the other day but you're at risk here. Forget about me and who I am for one second. We have information on your stalker." Ok so now he had my attention.

_**To feel like you've been pushed around **_

_**To be on the edge of breaking down **_

"Meet me at my office. You still have your key fob?" I nodded. Why in hell was I going along with this? My head screamed get the hell out now! While my heart is singing go for it girl!

"Meet me there at 7. I'll even have Pino's." Then he was the wind.

_**And no one's there to save you **_

_**No you don't know what it's like**_

Freakin f'kin Ranger!!!

_**Welcome to my life **_

Can he really expect to just waltz into the office tell me to meet him, at his apartment no less! And not even bat an eye after all this? Hell no! But he knew something about my crazy ...Urgh.

_**No one ever lied straight to your face **_

_**And no one ever stabbed you in the back **_

Right Stephanie. Go into the office. Grab your mountain of files. Catch some bad guys. Then go to Rangers. Eat some pizza. Drill him for information. Then tell him to take a hike. That'll work…right?

_**You might think I'm happy **_

How can I go on like this!? Ranger killed Joe…well ok maybe he may not have but still…

Taking a deep breath I walked back to the office. Heading straight to my files I tried to grab my stack of files, and was up to my forth attempt when I finally managed to grab them all without any sliding away from me. Nodding to Lula and Connie in replacement of my usual finger wave – which was kind of impossible considering – I headed out the door. I expected them to give me grief over Ranger and was kind of angry that they hadn't. I mean ok, I've had a more than bad week but that's no reason to tippy toe around me like I'm a child.

Steaming I walked over to my car without incident. Only then realising my mistake. I now had to get into my car. Balancing my folders percarisly on my hip, supported by one arm I fished my keys out of my pocket book. Placing the keys in the passengers side door lock I yanked on the door. Then it started, first it was jus one file. But soon enough they were all water falling out of my grip and onto the road, pavement, gutter and underneath big blue.

Crashing to the ground after the files I started sniffing as I tried to round them all up before a passing car could blow them further away. My lip was trembling as I crawled on my all fours to try and reach them all in time. To make matters worse I'd noticed that while they were falling some had opened up and spewed their contents out. Not only did I now have to grab them all but I had to re organise them.

In five minutes I'd secured all from the road and footpath however there was still one or two under big blue that no matter how I tried just couldn't quite reach. I planked down where I'd started and stared blankly at the files. Heavens knows how long I was there for. Or how I managed to stay there for so long with out going stir crazy. We all know staying in one place isn't exactly my fortae.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and Lula's face appeared in front of me.

"Girl, you ok?" blinking out of my trace I turned to face her. Woah why did she look so concerned?

"Yeah…what's wrong Lula?"

"Steph, you been sittin' here for goin' on half an hour now. Don't get me wrong. There's nothin' wrong with sittin' down but probably not a good idea to do it in the middle of the road…"

I looked at my surroundings and realised I was kind of in the middle of the road. Yikes. How'd that happen. Getting up I fished my keys out of the passengers side door and turned to get into the car.

Connie and Lula migrated to my door and peered in.

"I told you I'm fine!" I laughed back at them. That's me. Mrs Denial.

"Well if you insist Steph, but if you need anything…" Connie spoke.

"Yeah you guys are here I know. But I'm fine! Ok now I got a lot of work ahead so I got to go." I gestured to the mountain of files as I wound up my window and drove off.

My nose suddenly became itchy so I reached my hand up to do as one does and scratch and was shocked to find tear tracks down my face. Whipping down the passengers side visor mirror I took one look at my face before snapping it shut. When the hell did I start crying. God, I'm loosing the plot.

_**But I'm not gonna be ok **_

THE SONG IS 'WELCOME TO MY LIFE' BY SIMPLE PLAN. NOW PLEASE

REVIEW! MEANS THE WORLD TO ME


	5. It's my life

**SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY FOLKS, BUSY BUSY BUSY…**

"_**Steph, you been sittin' here for goin' on half an hour now. Don't get me wrong. There's nothin' wrong with sittin' down but probably not a good idea to do it in the middle of the road…"**_

_**I looked at my surroundings and realised I was kind of in the middle of the road. Yikes. How'd that happen. Getting up I fished my keys out of the passengers side door and turned to get into the car.**_

_**Connie and Lula migrated to my door and peered in.**_

"_**I told you I'm fine!" I laughed back at them. That's me. Mrs Denial.**_

"_**Well if you insist Steph, but if you need anything…" Connie spoke.**_

"_**Yeah you guys are here I know. But I'm fine! Ok now I got a lot of work ahead so I got to go." I gestured to the mountain of files as I wound up my window and drove off. **_

_**My nose suddenly became itchy so I reached my hand up to do as one does and scratch and was shocked to find tear tracks down my face. Whipping down the passengers side visor mirror I took one look at my face before snapping it shut. When the hell did I start crying. God, I'm loosing the plot.**_

_**But I'm not gonna be ok **_

**CHAPTER FIVE**

**IT'S MY LIFE**

I floored big blue out of the street and as far as I could go. I needed a moment to recollect myself. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the glowing halo of the golden arches and took a sharp turn into the drive through. No way was I going in there looking like this, at least in drive through it may not get back to the burg. I took a deep breath and ordered my daily dose of large fries and coke and parked up.

By the time I had finished slurping down the last of my coke I had decided, enough's enough. No more time to sit and pine, cry away what was, what could have been. It is time for Stephanie Plum to get her ass into rhino mode, track down what really happened and catch that mother f'cker.

_**This ain't a song for the broken-hearted**_

I decided to head off home to organize the FTA files and give Carl a ring, he said he would get hold of me but I had a busy night planned ahead of me.

Somehow, I found myself driving down Joe's street. I stopped breathing in hope I wouldn't throw up. This all felt so normal, nothing, not one thing had changed in the street.

Parking up across from his house I let out my breath. Sliding back in my seat I spoke silent prayers to Joe, apologizing, and that I would find out what really happened and avenge him, no matter who.

"Ahem."

I froze, there in the passengers seat was Mrs Morelli. I must have been so zoned out I didn't hear her even open the car door. Thank god I hadn't been talking aloud!

_**No silent prayer for faith-departed**_

I can't look at her, I know I should, heck I should have done all this at his grave side. Yet, despite my pep talk to toughen up I had yet to visit him since the funeral… Mrs Morelli cleared her throat again snapping me back to reality.

"I want to blame you, and on most days I do…."

She what? I stopped breathing. I know we never got along very well but certainly she didn't' blame me? My eyes started tearing over, how could anyone think I caused someone I love so much to die?

"But I do know you loved my boy Joesph and he loved you, despite everything…"

She turned to look at me and I met her eyes, mirroring mine with unshed tears.

_**I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd**_

"I d…Do" I caught myself before I mentioned Joe in past tense, maybe I'm more accepted about his death than I realize…

"Something is not right with all this, my boy Joesph would never do something as silly as that note says!" Mrs Morelli was by now yelling, with her hands waving around wildly looking out the front of the car.

"He talked to me the day…the day he died," she was steering blankly at her hands clasped on her lap. "He was acting kind of weird. Not that I told the cops that…it'd only confirm the lies. He told me, no matter what, if anything happens, that Carlos Manoso will know what happened. I didn't pry any further, Joe wouldn't answer anyway."

I continued steering out the window. Joe knew Ranger was going to do something? What? Something does not add up…but I knew he was involved!

"But YOU Stephanie, you have a rare gift of uncovering things, you won't give up. You'll find out what really happened to Joe."

Again we locked eyes before she silently got out of the car and headed back over to Joe's. All I could think of is I never told her I was sorry and I would.

_**You're gonna hear my voice**_

Now I couldn't let down either Joe or Mrs Morelli. With that I threw Big Blue out of the street and towards my apartment where I would ring up Carl and get to the bottom of all of this mess and prove that Carlos Manoso murdered Joesph Morelli. Watch out Jersey here comes Stephanie Plum!

_**When I shout it out loud**_

I dumped my bag at the door and headed towards my rapidly blinking answer machine. Right, first things first check out all my messages. I pressed play and it promptly told me I had "48 new messages, message 1.."

I may had been prepared to quickly delete any messages left by my mother but this first one however…

"Cupcake, I…I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. I'm more sorry than you can ever imagine…" his voice started breaking and he had to take a moment to contain himself, "I'm sorry for everything in the past and especially, the future. If I could change all of this I could, just know that I Love you, and always will. I DON'T want it to be like this…good bye."

By the end of the message I was a puddle on the floor on all fours, I should have been crying, but I was stunned, then again I have been known to cry without my knowledge before.

_**It's my life**_

_**It's now or never**_

What did he mean? Was he sorry for everything in the past? The failed relationship? Or …that night? God I couldn't think of that right now. I am going to get through this, one way or another.

_**But I ain't gonna live forever**_

_**I just wanna live while I'm alive (It's my life)**_

I realized I must have been on the floor for some time as the answering machine beeped declaring the end of the messages, so pressing play again I quickly saved the first message before I had to hear it and continued on. Half an hour later I had accumulated a total of Twenty Five calls from my mother with the usual, am I alive and how dare I not see my mother in so long, other daughters wouldn't dare and to come around for tea. Six from Manoso, ranging from "Babe..." to "Steph…" and one "Stephanie…". I wanted to throw the phone across the room and have it smash to smithereens then jump on it and burn it then do the same to him, but I restrained myself, I had other calls to listen to before I could do all of that. Two were from Carl, one from the day after the incident with Joe, the other from this afternoon saying he's busy for the rest of the day, but to call him tomorrow.

_**My heart is like an open highway**_

I made a mental note to call him first thing tomorrow and contined with the remaining messages. As expected, lula had left 5 messages stating if 'my skinny white ass was ok?' as well as trying to cheer me up by telling me to ring her to hear what Joyce had done that day. That implied two different scenarios, none of which I really wanted to hear about just now.

Connie had also managed to leave 2 messages, just letting me know that she knows people. Who would have thought knowing people related to mob members would come in handy? Then there were another 5 from Mary Lou, letting me know that if I needed someone to talk to that she was there for me, and to also contact her soon so as she knew I was ok and that if I ever was in need of a Ben and Jerry's fix she'd be there in a synch. God, now I had to ring all these people…I really couldn't handle that. Couldn't they just assume that I'm ok? Surely anything really bad would have been reported through the burg grape vine?

_**Like Frankie said "I did it my way"**_

_**I just wanna live while I'm alive**_

_**It's my life**_

I had just decided, after a process of elimination to call Mary Lou, after all I had already seen Lula and Connie, my mother could wait until I had sugar…and Ranger…well I'd rather not think about him right now. When I realized there were still two messages remaining. I figures they were from my mother and was about to delete them when a deep gruff voice came over my answering machine's speakers.

"Stephanie…" it said. Scanning my brain to see if I recognized the voice, I couldn't place it anywhere. God, just when I though my stalker of the month had decided to take a hike…

_**This is for ones who stood their ground**_

"I'm so glad I finally get to have you to myself…" sitting on the edge of my couch I couldn't stop the shaking.

"One is out of the way, and you yourself are eliminating the other. I knew you would understand." Standing up to press the save button the voice started again.

"Stupid cop…" I stood blinking blindly at the dial tone. What the hell did that mean? Stupid for trying to shoot me? For what? I went to press the save button and the second message played.

"Stephanie…" oh god it was el creepo again.

"I must admit, it was rather easy to eliminate them from the picture. You see, their weakness was somewhat obvious…You see Stephanie, Babe, Cupcake…They would and will do anything for you. And I do mean everything…Soon…"

I pressed save and stood staring at the machine. They were left within half an hour of one another today.

_**For Tommy and Gina who never backed down**_

_**Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake**_

My first reaction was to call Ranger…no way I was going there. But what did he mean by I was their weakness? Sure they do a lot for me, well Ranger does but still. And soon? Probably mean I would be meeting the owner to the voice soon. Was this the wacko who killed my car? I walked in a trance to my room and splayed out in my thinking position. Who had I pissed off recently who would want me? I obviously didn't piss them off that much otherwise they would want to kill me…not well…it's odd. Why do men always seem to fall after me except the one I really want to? Murphy's law I tell you. Wait a minute, there is no one I want to be chasing after me right now is there? Woah this is way too son after Joe…god. And people say I'm lucky…

_**Luck ain't even lucky**_

_**Got to make your owns breaks**_

A shrill piercing noise surrounded me, I was walking down the street. Well running actually, after someone, they looked just like Joe, then Ranger, then Joe again then they changed all together into a dark figure who then started after me, I turned and speed away. The piercing noise sounded again, suddenly I was back in on my bed, it was getting dark and I realized the noise was my phone. Figures. I stumbled into the lounge and just as I reached for the phone the answering machine kicked in. "Ba…uh Stephanie, just reminding you about tonight. Come, please?" then there was the infamous dial tone. I rolled my eyes and looked at the readout on the microwave, 6:00pm. Great an hour to get ready and head on over there. Sighing I dragged my ass into the shower to attempt to wake up and managed to be ready to roll in a record of twenty five minutes. Not bad considering my nest of bed hair. Right, now to Haywood. I tapped Rex's cage letting him know I'd be back soon and not to worry. I went for the door and turned around to ask Rex one important question, "I'm doing the right thing…right" Rex made no movement, his hamster hiney protruding from his soup can. I dropped my head in defeat and headed for the elevator.

_**It's my life**_

_**And It's now or never**_

I made the ride over there stretch as long as possible. I exhausted all possible reasons for not being able to go…Rex was sick, I had already planned to eat dinner at my parents…I fell over and knocked myself unconscious. All rather plausible excuses, but nether less I had to bite the bullet. I still couldn't believe it, as mad I was at Ranger and I did blame him for Joe's death. I knew in my gut, my spidey sence was telling me something else was up. There was something more to what happened that night. Mrs Morelli was onto something, I just had to find out what. Stupid Stephanie was getting out of her car and using her key fob to get into Haywood and up to the seventh floor. Calm as anything, knowing that if need be she could protect herself from Ranger. Sane Stephanie was back in the car speeding off into the sunset only stopping to puke her guts out on the side of the road. Sane Stephanie never did get far in her life, although riding up to the seventh floor I did feel as though I was about to hurl at any moment.

_**I ain't gonna live forever**_

_**I just wanna live when I'm alive (It's my life)**_

The elevator doors dinged open and I found the door to Rangers apartment open, I took one step off the elevator and froze. The doors behind me slamming shut and I could hear the elevator wiz down to the ground floor again. I gulped and took a shaky breath. I have already tried flying off a garage roof. Both seem utterly insane so how different is this? I took one step, followed by another and soon followed by another and before I knew it I was inside the apartment and actually breathing normally. I knew I had to go into that room and find out the truth. One way or another. I was not going to leave that room coming out the same Stephanie.

_**My heart is like an open highway**_

_**Like Frankie said "I did it my way"**_

I walked into the room and shut the door behind myself. Looking back that seemed like a stupid idea but hey, where exactly could I run to? I took a quick scan around the room but couldn't see Ranger anywhere. Eventually I decided to perch myself on the edge of the couch, not really wanting to get comfortable but not wanting to stay standing around looking like a lost puppy. I had just managed to relax when I heard the elevator doors open and saw Ranger walk through the front door. He looked to me and for a brief moment I saw a look of surprise and hope flash across his face. But like always it was gone, and the blank mask in place. Enabling me to get a good look. He was carrying a large pizza box, some brown bags and a case of Corona's. I mentally noted to myself to only drink one, anymore than that and I may end up more confused than before. Sighing I heaved my ass off the couch and helped Ranger through the door. I may think he killed Joe but hey, he may not have and I needed to be somewhat civil in order to get out of here and not be shipped off to some third world country.

_**I just wanna live while I'm alive**_

_**It's my life**_

Ranger broke the silence first, "Steph, I'm glad you came…more so than you can imagine."

I looked up from placing the brown bags on the kitchen counter. Ranger was standing beside the fridge, watching me intently in typical Merry Men pose of leaning back, arms folded and legs crossed. The blank mask was gone and replaced was almost a sad lonely expression.

"Don't think I'm doing this for you," I turned back around and started busying myself with taking what I had discovered to be meatball subs out of the bags and onto plates. "I'm doing this for Joe." I turned back handing Ranger a plate with a Sub on it. It took him a moment to accept the plate with a slight nod he grabbed two coronas off the bench and took them to the dining table.

_**Better stand tall when they're calling you out**_

We sat down and started eating into the large meatball subs. I kept glancing at Ranger, and would jolt my eyes back to my dinner when I caught Ranger looking at me the same time. We continued in this fashion for what seemed an eternity. I decided to take the flying leap, once more, first.

"Ok, what did you want to talk about?"

Ranger took a moment to take one more bite and placed the remaining Sub on his plate. For ages he just looked at me almost judging or evaluating me. After a while he seemed to find what he was looking for and leaned back in his chair.

"I wanted to talk to you about Morelli."

My heart stopped, sure I had been expecting this but still, I didn't expect him to just dive into this! I mean for gods sake.

"Babe…"

"Don't Babe me…" if batman had been slapped across the face he wouldn't have looked more shocked or hurt.

_**Don't bend don't break, baby don't back down**_

"...Steph…" Ranger asked sounding rather unsure of himself. I glared at him, I kind of felt bad though, I mean I had been acting civil up till this point and broke for no real reason. It had after all been expected. I shook my head and looked at Ranger with a hint of apology, but not much.

"I wanted to talk to you about what happened. I don't think people have got the right idea about what happened that night…" he trailed off, looking out the apartment window beside him. I couldn't help but think that was so Hollywood.

Sighing I took a deep breath. "So what DID happen?"

_**It's my life **_

_**And it's now or never**_

Ranger turned back to me. "It started before that night…Morelli had been working on a huge case, as you probably know. But what you don't is how sensitive it was, how destructive it would be to so many people if he managed to get the people involved."

He waited a moment almost checking with me to see if he should continue. I just sat there, if I moved I'm sure I would have bolted for the door and out of this building, but I just nodded my head.

_**'Cause I ain't gonna live forever **_

_**I just wanna live when I'm alive (It's my life) **_

"He was in real deep, and he asked for my help, and Rangemans. We had just starting to help that day when…well the day before he died."

I blinked back tears and hoped like hell the sob in my throat would not escape me.

"I think his case had something to do with his death."

WHAT?? I jumped up and took a few steps back. My eyes wide and wild. Tears skimming my eyes.

"How dare you…" I breathed as I strode over to Ranger and slapped him clean across the face. His head tilted with the blow. Turning his head back to me I could already see my red hand print on his face.

"How dare you blame Joe's death on a case! YOU killed him Manoso, YOU! YOU pulled the trigger, YOU shot him, YOU killed him!!!" I wasn't screaming but I had a lot of loathing and hate in my voice every time I said 'you'.

Ranger was speechless. I could see the hurt in his eyes but it didn't matter. He shot Joe, what does he expect? An, Oh you're sorry? That's ok then?????

I started backing towards the door, grabbing my purse as I left.

"This was a mistake…" with that I ripped the door open and ran towards the elevator, but it wasn't there. I started pressing the button frantically with the hope that it would make it go faster.

Two hands grasped my shoulders roughly and spun me so my back was facing the wall beside the elevator. I looked up and saw Rangers angry face glaring down inches from me just as the elevator pinged it's arrival. If the situation had been any different I would have laughed at it's timing.

_**My heart is like an open highway **_

_**Like Frankie said "I did it my way"**_

_**I just want to live while I'm alive **_

"Listen to me Stepanie." I gulped back my fear and stared back at Ranger eyes wide.

"I had no fucking choice. Ok?" I tried to wiggle out of his grasp but he only held me tighter. So much so it was starting to hurt.

"I wanted to give you time to come around. I really did. But I can't take it any more…I can't!" his voice had gone from hushed rage to sad, and for the first time. I saw Ranger cry.

"I know timing sucks, I know how it looks. But I Love you damn it. I love you!"

_**It's my life **_

I sucked in a lung full of air sure I must have misheard him. This coming from a man who is the killer of my recently deceased boyfriend?

"I love you, no buts' not exceptions I just love you. I wish I could be patient and let you grieve, and I normally am! But god damn it Stephanie, I can't take it any longer. Send me off to the middle of no where to fight, see people I care about die, but I can not take you hating me and not talking to me. Shutting me out. I just can't." his voice had dropped again to just below a whisper. We were both crying steady salty tears.

_**And it's now or never **_

_**I ain't gonna live forever **_

Then he hugged me, big, never let go, life line bear hug. I stood there limp. Still processing what he had just admitted to. What the hell is it with me and my messed up life?

_**I just wanna live when I'm alive (It's my life) **_

_**My heart is like an open highway **_

When Ranger finally pulled back I could see the hope and desperation in his eyes that I had been ignoring up until now. Could this man have really killed Joe? Or was that the grief of him knowing what he did?

_**Like Frankie said "I did it my way" **_

I looked to Ranger then to the elevator. To run? Like I always did, or to stay and listen to Joe's killer?

_**I just want to live while I'm alive **_

_**'Cause it's my life!**_

**SO WHAT DID YOU ALL THINK? OK? LET ME KNOW, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! BUSY AS WITH COURSE BUT I SHALL TRY AND UPDATE SOON WHEN I FIND AN INSPERATIONAL SONG.**

**BOOK 13 COMING OUT SOON!!!!!**

**NOW GO AND REVIEW! SHOULD STEPH RUN OR STAY? AND WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT RANGERS LIL OUTBURST?**


	6. Pink Fun

_**So…update again! Yay! I would just like to thank those loyal readers as always…**_

_**Also I am sorry if these characters do not seem like they do in the book, but please, do bare in mind that the story is not yet over. That the fat lady has not yet sung. So to that person…:P your gonna miss the ending now! Anyways…on with the story.**_

I looked to Ranger, then the door. To run? Or stay?

Hanging my head down I pushed Ranger away with my hand and headed back to the apartment. I sat, well more slumped my wary ass on his couch and just lay there. Waiting for him to continue.

Ranger followed in shortly after, rather tentative. I suppose the guy had just bared his heart to me, and this is Ranger, man of mystery and I kind of just jumped on it.

I looked down to my hands, not wanting to see the hurt in his eyes. I'd seen enough hurting lately to last me a lifetime.

"I accept what you told me. Your timing sucks, but I do understand."

He sat down beside me and I stood looking him in the eyes. Crap, I saw hope.

"But I will ignore that last part you said for now. I can't deal with that just now, I can't."

The hope left his eyes but he nodded.

"So…continue I guess. With the case…"

"There's not much more to say…"

"Now's not the time to go silent Ranger."

His lip upturned at the use of his street name again, instead of Manoso.

"Steph, I don't know anymore. We were to get all the information the next day. But well…"

"Without Morelli the case still goes on right?"

Ranger stood and started pacing by the window, looking more and more like a caged animal.

"But Morelli had the inside information that was too dangerous to keep as hard evidence. That's how bad it was Babe…"

I thought about yelling at him for calling me that, but when I looked up I couldn't. This man was hurting and bad. Could I have possible have been so wrong? But wait, I know he shot Joe, AHH!

I shook my head clear of all thoughts and started to pace back and forth from Ranger. I paused to double check he was serious with me. "So you really don't know anything?"

"I really hate to say it, but no." Well his blank mask wasn't in place so I guess he isn't. Shit, we're screwed.

I started pacing again. But then why go after me after a fight? I thought. What's the link to that and the case? This is all just jumping to conclusions. Not that I think that highly to myself but I'm sure me breaking up with him wouldn't send him on a murderous rampage. And what about Mrs Morelli saying about Ranger knowing about Joe…

"Knowing what about Joe?"

Shit… "I said that out loud didn't I?"

"Yeah."

I took a seat back on the couch and looked up to Ranger. Right, I'm going to jump head first into this, I'm going to rely on faith that Ranger is innocent.

Taking a deep breath I began…

"Well I was driving past Morelli's house today and I somehow found myself stopping across the road. I was really out of it…and I know I should be more aware of my surroundings… but I suddenly found Mrs Morelli sitting in my passengers seat."

I leant forward in the couch and started playing with a curl framing my face, entwining it in my finger over and over.

"She told me she blamed me for Joe…"

"Steph…" Ranger cut it clearly alarmed.

"Most days," I continued cutting him off, "but she knew we loved each other. And that Joe had gone to see her that day." I looked up into Rangers eyes again.

"He said that if anything ever happened to him, that you would know what happened."

Ranger started off with the blank face but it soon turned to anger, confusion and then exasperation.

He walked off to the kitchen and grabbed us a Corona each, taking the top off and handing it to me. I took a swig without a second thought.

"You know I blame myself."

That caught my attention, blame himself for what?

"For everything…"

Damn ESP.

"For that one night, leaving you like that. That was low babe. Really, really low. And now Joe. Your life would have been way better off without me in it. No complications, and you may still have Joe."

"Hold on there, Don't you dare start that guilt trip Ranger!" we were both sitting on the couch, leaning on one another and I had since turned myself to face him.

"You have no right to go there. That night was both our decision, you didn't hear me say no did you?" Ranger took his eyes off the Corona and to me. But just chook his head and took a long drag of his beer, leaving it three quarters empty.

"If I had never entered the picture in the first place. If I had never met you in that coffee shop…"

I know I shouldn't have but stupid Stephanie took possession of my body. Throwing sane Stephanie out the window. I threw myself at him kissing him long and hard.

Pulling back I saw, probably for the first time his real raw emotions. Love, lust, hope, sorrow, anger all of them.

"Don't let me ever hear you say you're sorry you entered my life again."

I stood up and chugged the last of my Corona before grabbing my purse and headed to the door again. "I can't do this anymore tonight. I've got some messages on my phone, it could have something to do with Joe. I don't know. But I'll drop it into the control room tomorrow for you to have a look." I pressed the shut the door to the apartment without a second look back and waited for the elevator to arrive. I stepped in and pressed for the ground floor. As the doors shut I saw Ranger emerge from the apartment.

"Thanks Babe…"

There wasn't much more he could really say.

I entered the car park and made my way over to big blue. Unlocking the car I slid in, started up and tore out of there. I managed to make it all the way to my apartment before I started thunking my head on the steering wheel. I normally would have cried, but my family doesn't do that emotional thing and I think I have used up my life time quota this past week. Why did I kiss Ranger? Urgh, Joe has just died and I'm already kissing another guy?

Sliding back out of the Buick I made my way into my apartment building. Opting for the stairs, god knows I needed exercise and it was highly likely that I would run into Mrs Bestler if I used the elevator.

Unlocking my apartment I threw my pocket book on the couch and headed to the fridge for another Corona.

Now I definitely wouldn't be able to drive anywhere for the rest for the day. I threw myself at my bed in the thinking position and started sipping away. What had I just done? El Creepo on my voice message sounded like he wanted them both out of the picture, even Ranger. And that I was their weakness. I shouldn't be dragging him into this. But he did pull the trigger…crap!

I flung myself off the bed and straight into the shower placing the Corona on the edge of the basin. Long hot showers always makes a girl feel better, besides. It has less calories than Ben & Jerrys or Boston Cremes or cakes…need I continue?

I took my time, washing my hair, taking a drag of Corona and not once did I get the urge to abuse my shower massager.

After my shower I felt like a puddle of goo, I scrounged up some boy shorts (note to self, do laundry!) and a tee and grabbing another Corona and bottle of water, being a light weight and all one must balance these things. I flipped on the television and made myself comfy. I was halfway through watching 'Cops.' For which I was constantly yelling at the T.V abusing it. Asking why it never happens like that in real life, yet that IS real life. I mean come on. It doesn't even go like that with Ranger on a take down. Well not that I know of anyway.

Anyway it was the add breaks when it dawned on me, Mary Lou! I went to call her back but never did! El Creepo made me forget.

I launched myself, rather ungracefully over the back of the couch. Falling face first. I reached up from the ground for the phone and dialled the number I knew off by heart since I started using phones. And being a burg girl that was at age seven.

"Mary Loooooooooou!" I sang out when she answered.

"Steph?" she asked, I couldn't hear screaming in the background, odd.

"Yah it's me! Well you know what I'm like, I totally suck at getting back to people. Like always. You're the first person I called! Although I have spoken to Ranger. But that doesn't count we had issues to sort out. We still do!" I lent myself up against the wall to stop the spinning and decided it was rather comfy. Who needs a bed when you got a wall and a floor I say.

"Steph? Have you been drinking? It's…quarter past one, on a Tuesday…"

"Really, Oh My God Lou I'm so so so so so so so sorry! I totally didn't know. It started out as one drink at Ranger's then two…then I came home. By the way I'm calling him Ranger now. Not Manoso. I flew Mary Lou I Flew!! I decided to jump and hope like hell he's right and Joe's death is not his fault. Well I better let you go now. Just letting you know I'm alive and all. Night!" I hung up the phone and started crawling to the bathroom with the intention of downing some pain killers and brushing my teeth. That fully completed I grasped wildly at my bed sheets till I was on top of them and well. Truth be told I don't remember anything else.

My eyes are on fire. Little men are sitting in the back of my brain drilling my eyeballs out. Why little men? Why do you despite me so?

I tried opening my eyes again and found that light was streaming through my blinds. Crap, it must be after noon. I had so much I was going to do!

Just as I was about to bury my head beneath the covers I smelt it. The smell every girl alive dreams of when they wake in the morning. And the sight, was something out of this world. Water dripping down the base, heat steaming off the other. I swear I saw a halo and heard a choir sing as I erratically grabbed for the large fries and large Coke. Taking my first bite, I swear a little part of me died.

"Hey, you're up!"

"AH no yelling, please, for the love of god!" I begged scrunching my eyes shut. Carl just popped his head through the bedroom doorway.

"Oh sorry Steph…" he perched himself beside me and stole a mouthful of fries. If I had any hand eye coordination I would have swiped them and guarded them with my life well before he could even process the thought of poaching them.

"Although I thank you for the cure, just get to the point will ya?"

"They ran a handwriting analysis on…the note. It was a match."

Nodding I took another gulp of Coke and made the universal go on gesture.

"So…Joe wrote the note. So now we've got to figure out why."

I rolled my eyes in typical burg girl fashion. "I was already working on that Carl." Jumping off the bed I made my way to the bathroom to inspect the damage. Which wasn't too bad considering. The cure works wonders in all areas of 'the morning after'.

"I could tell straight away that I was Joe's writing. But like you said. I just can't for the life of me figure out why he wrote it. Or better yet why he did what he did." I turned to Carl who was now standing leaning against the bathroom doorway. "Or what he even did. So much is not right about that day, something is off."

Carl swallowed the last of the fries and wiped his hands on his pants in typical cop fashion.

"Spidey Sence aye Steph?" glaring I turned back to the mirror. Who the hell was it who started spreading the myth of my Spidey Sence?

"Joe."

Glaring again I shut the door square on Carl's face. So way too early for this shit.

Half an hour later, washed, dried and with extra coats of mascara for bravery and courage I was set to walk out the door. Carl had let himself out yelling through the bathroom door that he will let me know if he finds out anything more. Finally, a cop I can trust to tell me everything. None of this tell me a little and hide the remaining ninety precent.

Yesterday I had promised Ranger I would drop off the tape with El Creepo's messages on it. I had no idea what they could really do with it other than confirm I, yet again, had a crazed delusional psycho after me. But at least they may be able to let me know if they think it is involved in Joe's death.

I swung big blue into the Tasty Pastry to grab an arsenal of Boston Creams and assortment of colourful donuts, making sure there were plenty of pretty pink ones. I would need to make up big time for neglecting Lula and Connie.

I parked Big Blue in the Haywood garage, grabbed my deliveries and pressed 5 for the control room. I wasn't quite sure where to hand in the tape but prayed to God I would find Ranger in his office and be able to let him deal with it. Not that the Merry Men aren't nice to talk to, it's just I don't know them all that well. Yeah, that works. I'm so not afraid they will squish my with their pinky, crush me like a bug.

The door pinged open and I was instantly greeted by silence. Walking past the main monitors I gave the Hal and Lester a quick finger wave before diving into the sanctuary of the break room. I deposited my goodies like a bad tooth fairy and headed towards Ranger's office. My hand was just at the door when I heard Ranger.

"Babe." Rolling my eyes I walked in and sat down in the chair opposite his desk, sitting the tape in front of him. Ranger's eyes flicked from the file he was reading to me and back again.

"Tape as promised." I said mock saluting him. Smirking Ranger pressed his intercom buzzer. "Santos, get in here."

Five seconds later Lester entered with a wink and caught the tape as Ranger threw it to him.

"Have our men check it out, see if there's any way we can trace the call, who this guy is and what he wants." His gaze shifted to me again, "and if it's ok with Staph, have a trace on your phone."

My eyes must have given away my surprise because Ranger had a full on one hundred watt smile.

"Yes, so long as you guys don't listen in to ones the ones that aren't from El Creepo."

Ranger nodded to Lester and he left the office shutting the door behind him.

"El Creepo Babe?"

"What! He is? What else should I call him?" Ranger smirked again and put the file he had been reading away replacing it with another. I grabbed my Pocket Book and went for the door.

"Take Care."

I smiled to myself and opened the door. "You too Ranger."

"And Babe…"

"Yeah?" I turned to him.

"No more Donuts, especially pink ones. You'll ruin my image."

_**So what did you all think? Like? Love? Hate? REVIEW! And please tell me if you think it should be rated less? It may change later…but my friends read this and that could just be embarrassing! Lol so I may not… but if I DON'T should I drop the rating????**_


	7. Falling Away

**This chapter is long coming... and I would love to dedicate it to my home town and current residence of Christchurch, New Zealand. Together we can get through this. Kia Haha.  
Thoughts and Prayers to those who are still lost or no longer with us.**

I walked out of Rangeman with a bounce in my step. Finally life was looking up.

Since I hadn't called past the office since my near-call in the men in white suites- break down I figured I best make another (hopefully more sane) appearance.

Thankfully I was on top of things this morning and a back up 'sacrificial offering' was left in the back seat of big blue from the Tasty Bakery.

"Don't mind if I do" Lola muttered as she dove for the pink box.

Connie looked up, saw there was no hope is salvaging a donut and went back to working on her computer.

Ah yes, life as normal. How I missed thee.

"Connie, normally I'm up for the money. But any chance I can pawn off some of my files?"

Connie blinked once before she looked behind her to the office which holds my weasel of a cousin for all of an hour a day, and even then it's normally adultery related business.

"Look, forget I said anything. Between Lola and myself I am sure we can get some of the..."

"I'll take them."

What do I have on me? A freaking GPS?

Ranger took another step into the office. The sun framing his godly body from behind...oh that behind.

I drool checked myself before approaching. Oh wait, it's Ranger, I probably do have GPS.

"Thanks Ranger, I'll drop them off to the office with the tape."

A quick smile to all and I was out the door. I had just reached Big Blue when there was a Lola in front of me.

"Ok, girl. Me and you are going for chicken and you are telling me all." Spinning she gave me a full 360 of her outfit. Opting for the 'in season' short denim shorts and silver spandex boob tube I had officially seen more of Lola than I believe I had of Ranger...  
Jumping in and starting the engine Lola buckled up, staring intently at me. All business was our Lola. Unfortunately this was probably due more to the fact she was going to get fed than it was interest in what was happening in my life. Although the Ranger-Factor was a plus in her books. Living vicariously though me? Never!

After my third attempt of parking big blue legally at the Cluck in a Bucket I surrendered and yanked the keys out of the ignition. Thankfully the lunch crowd had cleared and it was a nice fine day. Again, things are looking up.

After receiving my order I sat down opposite Lola. My toosh had just touched down when it began.

"So whats the deal? Do we hate or love Ranger? What about Joe? What's that bout a tape you have to drop off? Do you have another stalker? Do you like collect them or something? And what does Ranger look like naked? God like? Does the size of the feet actually mean anything?"

"WOAH!" I held out my hands in defence. So this is what the Spanish inquisition must have felt like...

"firstly, we neither hate or love Ranger we tolerate him. Joe... I am still working on that. It's going to take time."

Lola nodded taking a gigantic bite out of her burger before giving me the 'continue' look.

"Tape...has something to do with Joe, I'm really not sure how yet but it's nothing to worry about I swear."

Another look from Lola, this time a 'yeah right.'

"Rangeman is dealing with it so it's fine I swear. And I am so not going to tell you about naked Ranger."

If looks could kill I would be dead. Taking a bite out of a piece of deep fried chicken I simply shrugged. There was nothing that was going to get me talking about naked Ranger...

After polishing off my diet busting lunch I left Lola satisfied and full at the office.

I called past my apartment to grab the voicemail from El Creepo. Ok so I had kind of glanced over the whole stalker thing, but dragging Lola into it was the last thing I needed to do. If I dragged her in, chances were she was the one that was going to get fire bombed not me, or worse...

I had grabbed the tape, finger waved to Rex who had decided to blatantly ignore me today and was in the process of opening the door when the earth moved. Literally.

It just hit you, the ground shook violently to the left, then back again. High school instructions kicked in and I dove for the door. I could hear my apartment falling away, items both treasured and non falling to the floor. I sunk to the ground in the doorway unable to stand as the building continued to shake. I was thrown from left to right. Hitting one side of the door frame only to be thrown back again. And it kept going.

I could hear everyone in by building scream as the walls started to give way. Bricks falling through into my lounge landing on my ugly but much loved sofa. I dove for the dining table as my apartment went black.

**Ok, I know the last is quite obvious, and in my opinion poorly written in comparison to the real thing but felt this was something that I should do...love it hate it? Let me know! R & R people! Thankfully the (our second) quake has given me inspiration and taken me out of my road block...**

**Also excuse this, written at one am with one brief look over...**


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